The Love Dare, Day 3

Love is not selfish...

"Be devoted to one another in brother love; give preference to one another in honor." -Romans 12:10

This is one is usually don't have a problem doing. It is stating, when you do things for others, do them for others, not for fame or some reward, or even bragging rights. Like for instance cleaning the house. I usually do it because i love my husband and he loves a clean house but recently i have been doing it so he will feel bad that i do so much for him. SELFISH!!! I have a problem with this right now.

The book states that selfishness is the opposite of love. That we should do things for others out of love. "When a husband puts his interests, desires and priorities in front of his wife, that is a sign of selfishness. When a wife constantly complains about the time and energy she spends meeting the needs of her husband, that is a sign of selfishness..."

Ask yourself these questions:

• Do you truly want whats best for your mate? Yes
  
• Do you want them to feel loved by you? Yes
  
• Do you believe you have their best interests in mind? Yes
  
• Do they see you as looking our for yourself first? No he knows my family comes before me.

Day 3 dare:

WHATEVER YOU PUT YOUR TIME, ENERGY, AND MONEY INTO WILL BECOME MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU. IT IS HARD NOT TO CARE FOR SOMETHING YOU ARE INVESTING IN, ALONG WITH RESTRAINING FROM NEGATIVE COMMENTS, BUY YOUR SPOUSE SOMETHING THAT SAYS "I WAS THINKING OF YOU TODAY

Ok So i know i can do that but if he comes home tomorrow empty handed, i think i will scream. Seriously it will take all i have not to just walk out the door then. Because if he has nothing fr me that means he doesn't think this is serious or he really doesn't think of me during the day.

I was at Walmart so i bought him a fishing lure because he loves fishing and that area always reminds me of him.

The Love Dare, Day 2

Love is kind...

"Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you"- Ephesians 4:32

Kindness. Not only am i a very patient person but i am also very kind, at least to my husband. Right now I'm thinking that i will have no problem with this dare but he isn't going to last the 40 days. I feel bad for feeling like that, that kind of attitude isn't going to help my marriage...

Ok so Kindness can be broken up into 4 basic core elements: Gentleness, helpfulness, willingness, and initiative.

The book when speaking of kindness, references the story in the Bible about the Good Samaritan. What a nice fella that guy was. I hope that if i get confronted with a similar situation, i can do the same. Ok ok off topic, kindness...

It asks how would your husband or wife describe you on the kindness meter? well he once told me he only met one other person as kind as me, his mother. That was a big complement.

"It is difficult to demonstrate love when you feel little to no motivation. But love in its truest sense is not based on feelings. Rather, love determines to show thoughtful actions even when there seems to be no reward. You will never learn to love until you learn to demonstrate kindness."

Dare for day 2:
IN ADDITION TO SAYING NOTHING NEGATIVE TO YOUR SPOUSE AGAIN TODAY, DO AT LEAST ONE UNEXPECTED GESTURE AS AN ACT OF KINDNESS.

Oops i didn't see that word up there. I guess he expects that i will make his coffee, make him breakfast, oh wait i rubbed his back, that must count! Ok well nothing yet, but i have notice that he is being nicer, I'm not sure if it is because he feels guilty for the way he acted yesterday, or that he feels guilty for never being around. Maybe its the book. Maybe he really read the day 1. :)

The Love Dare, Day 1

Love is patient...

"Be completely humble and gentle be patient, bearing with one another in love."- Ephesians 4:2

As i was reading this days entry, I couldn't help but have selfish thoughts. I am patient, but this morning he sure wasn't...bad Katie bad Katie.

'Patience gives your spouse permission to be human. It understands that everyone fails...It gives you the ability to hold on during the tough times in your relationship, rather than bailing out under the pressure'.

The book says, "Can your husband or wife count on having a patient wife or husband to deal with? Can she know that locking her keys in the car will be met by your understanding rather than a demeaning lecture?" Hmmmm.

The dare today:

THE FIRST PART OF THIS DARE IS EASY. ALTHOUGH LOVE IS COMMUNICATED IN A NUMBER OF WAYS, OUR WORDS OFTEN REFLECT THE CONDITION OF OUR HEART. FOR THE NEXT DAY, RESOLVE TO DEMONSTRATE PATIENCE AND TO SAY NOTHING NEGATIVE TO YOUR SPOUSE AT ALL. IF THE TEMPTATION ARISES, CHOOSE NOT TO SAY ANYTHING. IT IS BETTER TO HOLD YOUR TONGUE THAN TO SAY SOMETHING YOU'LL REGRET.

Ok so the day is over and it was easy. I did get upset at him, but I didn't say anything, easy because i usually don't say anything when I'm upset. Plus I am very patient so voila!

The Love Dare

Ok so my marriage isn't the greatest, Its not too bad either...well actually I'm not satisfied with it at all :( We have a few issues, but after almost 10 years who doesn't right? Right.

So my mom mentioned the Love Dare. So I read the intro to the book, which my mom happened to have, lol. I decided that my marriage was worth fighting for, even if I was the only one fighting for it. Here is the warning on the inside cover:

RECEIVE THIS AS A WARNING. THIS 40 DAY JOURNEY CANNOT BE TAKEN LIGHTLY. IT IS A CHALLENGING AND OFTEN DIFFICULT PROCESS, BUT AN INCREDIBLY FULFILLING ONE. TO TAKE THIS DARE REQUIRES A RESOLUTE MIND AND A STEADFAST DETERMINATION. IT IS NOT MEANT TO BE SAMPLED OR BRIEFLY TESTED, AND THOSE WHO QUIT EARLY WILL FORFEIT THE GREATEST BENEFITS. IF YOU WILL COMMIT TO A DAY AND TIME FOR 40 DAYS, THE RESULTS COULD CHANGE YOUR LIFE AND YOUR MARRIAGE. CONSIDER IT A DARE, FROM OTHERS WHO HAVE DONE IT BEFORE YOU.

So I'm excited about this. I approached Frank about maybe doing it with me, i was so afraid he would mock it or be angry at the suggestion (he doesn't think we have any issues), but he said sure, anything to help. So here we go...